Many shamanic tribes believe when we are faced with particularly traumatic or uncomfortable situations, parts of the soul will break off an actually leave us because they just cant deal with the situation. Most of these original wounds are inflicted during childhood, hence the need to rescue the 'Inner Child' and bring it home.
One thing I have learned through working with countless people is that it is pointless to do any inner child work until you deal with the underlying, or route issues, surrounding the soul part leaving. I once worked with a man who once we uncovered the many layers of his trauma, had a route experience where as a tiny boy, he fell of his bike and his dad laughed at him instead of offering comfort. The little soul couldn't deal with the fear, shame and embarrassment, so his soul broke this piece of and put it in a safe place. From then on, he had recurring examples of where he continually invited people into his life who would break his trust. He was swindled in business, cheated on by his wife and expected the worst from everyone. Once he had accepted he was inviting these lessons into his life, and much inner child work later, we brought that original little piece back and restored him back to his full essence. Once he had dealt with the route cause and accepted his pain, he has never again invited this lesson into his life.
When I asked him what he thought was the most important element of his healing, he said it was trust. He had to show his inner child that he could come out of hiding and trust him enough to not be a victim anymore, but to set stronger boundaries and be his ally. He had to trust his grown up self that he would accept, validate and not be ashamed of his pain and healing. He also told me he had to trust that everything that was happening was for his highest good and evolution.
This man is now one of my best friends. He fearlessly goes after his life joyously and without shame. He taught me a big lesson with inner child healing, that if you’re still inclined to minimize and/or rationalize the ways in which you were shamed, ignored, or hurt, you will never recapture your essence. We need to accept the fact that these situations truly wounded our souls, and then trust ourselves enough to begin to heal these wounds, to bring these little soul pieces back home. Wounded people unintentionally wound people, our parents weren’t bad, they were just wounded kids themselves....x Sare